Ang Kwento ng Babaeng Bulag

May isang bulag na babae na may matinding galit sa halos lahat ng bagay sa mundo maliban sa boyfriend nya. Mahal na mahal sya ng boyfriend nya at lagi itong nasa tabi nya kahit anuman ang mangyari. Kaya nasabi nya na kung makakakita lang sya, pakakasal sya sa boyfriend nya agad-agad.

Isang araw, nasurprise ang babae sa balitang may isang di nagpakilalang tao nag-donate ng mata sa kanya. Lubos ang kanyang pasasalamat dahil sa wakas ay makakakita na rin sya. Natapos ang operasyon at di mailarawan ang kanyang excitement  na masubukan na ang kanyang bagong mata. Pagkatapos maghilom ng sugat dala ng operasyon ay naimulat na ng babae ang kanyang mata at ganap na nyang nakikita ang mga bagay sa paligid. Nung sandaling nabaling ang tingin nya sa kanyang boyfriend ay hindi nag-atubili ang lalaki na tanungin sya “Ngayong nakakakita ka na, pakakasal na ba tayo?”

Sandaling natigilan ang babae at di makapaniwala sa nakita. Bulag din pala ang boyfriend nya. Agad nyang binawi ang sinabi nya noon na pakakasal sya sa boyfriend nya at noon din ay nakipaghiwalay sya. Lumakad palayo ang lalaki na labis na nasaktan at di napigilang maluha.

Isang araw, may natanggap na sulat ang babae na may kasamang mga larawan. Ito ang laman ng sulat:

Mahal ko,

Ikaw ang pinakamagandang babae na nakita ko sa buong buhay ko. Hinding hindi ko malilimutan ang mga panahon na kasama kita at malayang namamasdan lalo na ang iyong matipid ngunit napakatamis na ngiti. Sayang hindi na mangyayari yun. Sa pamamagitan ng mga litratong ito, sana wag mo malimutan kung gaano kita kamahal. Please ingatan mo ang mga larawang yan, ingatan mo ang ala-ala natin at…paki-ingatan na rin ang mga mata ko.

Pagkatapos basahin ng babae ang sulat ay tumulo ang mga luhang nanggagaling sa mga matang matagal na panahon na nagmasid,nagbantay at umalalay sa kanya. Mga matang ni minsan ay hindi nakita ang kanyang kapintasan bilang hadlang para sa kanilang pagmamahalan…

Professor “X”

I’m just done with the first year of my graduate school and I can’t wait to finish it in one more year. I can’t imagine how tough it is to deal with everyday things when you are working to earn money and at the same time, going to school to earn your Master’s degree. But its fine and I still manage to enjoy it. Guess you will endure all the sufferings if you really want what you are doing. There are just some things that you will encounter along the way that maybe added to your challenges and whatever you are up to, you really have to deal with those accordingly.

People who knew me well sometimes call me “the gay magnet”. I am honestly confused if this is a positive connotation or something that I should be alarmed with. I mean I don’t see no harm with gays. I see they are fun to be with and I actually did blog unbiasedly about them and you can check it right at this link: Homosexuals at ang Lipunan. Its just sometimes, I get a little to seriously uncomfy when a certain person of my same gender shows a certain kind of affection to me and what bothers me more is if that person is one of those you are greatly respected. I know there’s a lot of stories out there about the professor who get hooked up with their student and consequently became their lover. I can say that I’m on the same page with the majority of students who experience such, but mine is a bit intense in as far as having homosexual lover is concern. Back in college, I got few indecent proposals from gay faculties that I certainly rejected and actually, will never ever accept. The same story is happening to me here in graduate school when one of my professor confessed that he really likes me and he’s willing to give me all I want if I agree to be his partner. Of course I refused so hard that I told him “Never in a million years that I will accept such kind of proposal Sir. I respect you a lot and it will never change unless you insist what you desired.”. He gave the respect back and promised to retain our professional relationship as student and professor.

I know that it will be uneasy specially to my part because he’s one of my favorite and well respected professors but I have to be honest to myself, “I am not into same sex relationship.”. I keep hearing good things about same sex relationship and lots of homosexuals already tried to convince me to at least try it but no one succeed, no one will ever be. I condemn homosexual relationship not because of the morality issue but because it is not my heart is desired or wanted. I follow whatever my heart is saying because I do believe that things will get well if your decisions are carefully considered using more of your heart than mind. I agree that we think of practicality and in this material world, Its really important to use our mind than heart. But we should always think that there are things that can’t be exchanged for material things and real contentment and real happiness are one of those. At situations like what I’ve mentioned  that I frequently get into, I admit that its sometimes tempting. Tempting that at one time few years back, I almost said “yes” to one of the offer but that didn’t happen because I don’t feel like being into it and I’m sure that I won’t be happy if I agree to that kind of set-up.

It is so important that we understood that homosexuality exists from the very beginning and I don’t believe that it’s a moral sin to be included with one of them. However, just because we see no big deal with involving ourselves to such orientation doesn’t mean that we can always give it a try. Of course we have to be true to ourselves and if we don’t feel like being into it, then leave it alone. At the end of the day, its still the respect that people should give to one another especially when we talk about respecting differences.

Usapang "Pakikipagrelasyon"

"Napapgod na kasi akong magboyfriend. Sino bang gusto ng break up? Sino ba ng gusto ang hiwalayan?" Yan ang mga katagang hindi ko malilimutan na binanggit ng isa sa mga officemates ko. Mangyari kase ay may lovelife problem syang pinag-dadaanan at ramdam ko kung gaano kaimportante na may mapagsabihan sya neto at isa ako sa mga proud na tao na nakarinig ng kwento nya at nagbigay din ng konting advices na maaaring makatulong sa kanya.

Sa loob ng tatlong taon na pagba-blog ko about love and relationship, wala pa ko nameet na reader ko na kasing honest ng kaofficemate ko na yun na hindi ko na irereveal ang identity. Honest sya in a way na talagang sasabihin nya ang totoong feedback niya sa sa mga entries ko and she even compare them sa mga experiences nya. On that way, talagang naaappreciate ko sya and I thank her kase nasheshare din nya yung mga thoughts na wala pa ako.

One day, she called my attention to ask me about what she needs to do. She wanted to know kung paano makipag-deal sa kanyang partner na para bang walang plano sa buhay at hinndi nya kinakikitaan ng seriousness sa relasyon. Nafeel nya na parang wala syang security sa iba't ibang aspeto sa relasyon nila. Isa sa mga article ko na nabasa nya ang naging cause para iopen up nya saken ang problema nyang to(ang blogpost kong yun ay may title na "Mahirap ka lang! Wala kang karapatang mahalin ako!". ) Ayaw nya dumating sa point na maging tulad nya ang character na babae sa kwentong nakapaloob sa blog entry ko na yun dahil naniniwala sya na may potential ang bawat isa na ma-improve ang quality ng buhay nila. Initially, sinabi ko sa kanya na dapat ay wag mauuna ang judgement at kung kelangang siya na ang gumawa ng paraan para lang malaman ang tunay na hangarin at mga plano ng partner nya ay gawin nya. Madami kami napag usapan nun pero hindi ko na idedetalye lahat. For the purpose of this post, pinili ko lang yung isang part na kung saan ay nagbigay ako sa kanya ng isang mahalagang view tungkol sa mga mga lalaki.

Hindi talaga kami actual na nag-uusap in person kundi sa chat lang during unbusy hours sa work. At ito nga ang naging response ko sa kanya na copy pasted na lang sa original na reply ko sa chat nya.

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You sound too serious pagdating sa relasyon and im not sure if ako lang ang nakapansin nito. I dont know u that much pa and because we have our different beliefs and philosophy sa pakikipagrelasyon, I can't be very specific pa on my responses and reactions base sa personal situations na shinare mo saken. So for now i can only give you few general facts about guys na pwedeng makatulong sayo (somehow) until we get chance na magkausap in person, we can continue giving answers about the "why's" of life and love.

Facts about most of the guys pagdating sa pera at pagpaplano:

1. "i can get money in many ways." or "i can earn a living in many ways."- base sa survey, mas maraming babae ang nakapagtapos sa studies at nakakuha ng blue collar jobs kesa mga lalaki dahil literal na maraming lalaki ang hindi naniniwala na kelangan nilang i-work out ang future nila through education; na kaya nilang mabuhay sa maraming paraan. ito yung selfish na side ng mga lalaki na narerealize lang ng marami na mali pag tumanda na sila. unfortunately, pag naisip nilang maghanda na para sa future nila kase either may family na sila, its too late na. ito yung dahilan kung bakit maraming lalaki na maginhawa ang buhay nung binata pa at naghihirap nung nagkapamilya na.

2. "i can have money if i want to, so why do i save it?- dahil over confident na kaya nilang magkapera agad pag ginusto nila, di sila nagsesave ng pera. makikita mo yan sa kung panu sila gumastos sa pakikipagdate despite of their financial status na obviously, di naman ganun ka well off. yung perception din na kayang i-sustain ng trabaho nila yung financial needs nila ang isa sa dahilan kung bakit di sila nagsesave. at dahil most of the guys think life is about hapiness lang, nabubuhay sila sa kasalukuyan lang and ni hindi nag-aattempt na magsave for the future. in relation to this and to convince you more, watch or read news and observe kung sino ang laging laman ng balita about mga panghoholdap, pagnanakaw, kidnapping...mga lalaki. coz they believe that they can earn money right away, whenever they need it. (pero hindi naman lahat ay ganyan).

3. "why plan if things can be instantly obtained?"- ang planning para sa relasyon sa karamihan ng mga lalaki ay sign ng pagiging feminine at dahil masculinity dictates that we can have things right here, right now, then why do we plan? sa part na to nagpe-play yung role ng babae as a planner. opposite kase ng lalaki, ang babae ay concern sa future. ang problema naman sa babae pagdating sa relasyon, dominated sila ng superiority ng lalaki at nagiging submissive lang sila. in effect, di sila nakakapagcommunicate ng maayos kay guy kung ano ang gusto nya mangyari o planuhin. or masabi man nya kay guy, at napansin ni guy na di sya masyadong confident, babalewalain lang din sya. ang ending, makikipaghiwalay si girl kase iisipin nyang wala syang security sa relationship na yun.

Base on the mentioned things above, you may think na girls need to understand guys deeper than they usually do. Sometimes, it sounds like girls are obliged to understand guys since sila yung by nature, may kapasidad na mag-isip ng mas malawak lalo na sa relasyon. but of course girls may think na hindi fair kung laging sila na lang ang uunawa which is true naman. so dapat, both should meet halfway pag ganito yung situation.

no relationship will last kung walang unawaan. unfortunately, kokonti lang ang totoong may sense ng tunay na pag-unawa, mapababae man o mapalalaki. it also varies and depends on situations and to people. so to be on a safe side, dont settle down just yet hanggat hindi ka pa handang unawain nang mas malalim ang mga bagay-bagay sa loob ng isang relasyon. take time para pag-aralan ang mga bagay-bagay na may kinalaman sa pakikipagrelasyon. hindi kelangan magmadali at lalong hindi advisable na magpadalus-dalos sa desisyon. i dont advise to learn from mistakes kung alam mo na ang kahihinatnan ng pagkakamaling magagawa mo.

look after change and make sure that the change you are looking after is the change for the better.