Thursday, October 30, 2008


She’s a girl i always meet everyday in RTU Pasig. She’s kinda chubby or chubby indeed. First time I saw her was in supreme student council. That was around june 2008, opening of the class. She’s with her new classmates when they approach us because one of them knew my friend. I was not in the good mood that time and my world is at its darkest hour. I saw this fatty chick maybe around 17 or 18 years of age. She caught my attention…yeah she did. When I started staring at her, my world began to light up as if the sun finally comes out and shines on my almost lost world.

I told my tropa "I like her". My best friend told me about my absurdity because I am being attracted to another flaccid again. Yes, maybe he’s right. My ex girlfriend and the one who hurt me most was also chubby. But what’s the connection? Not all chubby is cruel. Infact, shes beautiful but still I was intoxicated by my friend’s words.

The days passed and I decided to stop whatever potential feelings I might have for her. But there still sometime I got stuck on her. I don’t know (she didn’t know either). Like one time when I was encouraging members of youth humanist, I ask them who wants to join and she raise her hands right away. I’m impressed because she got interested in our club.
A week passed and I rarely see her in the campus. Maybe because I was too busy on my academics and I have no time to roam around (seriously :P). Until, around August when I saw her with her face painted all over. I learned they've just presented their cultural dance or something for the contest of Buwan ng Wika. I was preparing to perform then for the battle of the band. I heard shes murmuring words like "he keeps ignoring me". We’ll shes right and on that instance, I was really focused on our band’s performance.

Time flies and she's almost gone in my consciousness. But I noticed it is because im preventing myself to see her. The problem is we’re on the same little campus and we can still see each other even from both ends. Anyway, as a person trying to be nice, I treat her nice. When she smile at me I smile back to her. As if we're making commercial ad for close up toothpaste.

It was a month of September when our organization president forced me to join the search for Mr. RTU pageant. I was really nervous. Pageant is not my thing. During the elimination, I was astonished to this girl wearing white gown. Yes, shes fat and shes the girl I've been talking about in this story. I felt off to look at her, so I managed not to. Her presence is both irritating and discomforting I thought.

A month after and came a coronation of Mr Rtu. She didn’t pass the elimination so no chance for us to be partners. Before the program started we’re on our quarter and she keep on teasing me. I'm not sure if shes telling the truth about what she said that im sexy and handsome(what do you think?) but I was forced to believe.

During the talent portion, I was a little shaky coz the crowd is so noisy when I came on stage. I have to get a girl from the audience to serenade to showcase my talent. She came to me and stand beside me and I start strumming and singing a song to her. The crowd got crazy. They're asking me to kiss her. I thought she wanted a kiss but I decided not to, a hug will do.

The pageant was over yet and everybody were outside. They keep talking about what happened. I only got the second runner up but that’s ok. Shes with her peers when were about to go. She told me about the kiss thing. So I told her if I can kiss her at that moment. She said just on the cheek. I ask for her lips. She nodded. I kissed her. Then I left.

A week passed and im still astounded to what ive done including the kissing thing. I don’t know why I did that. Shes been texting me and one night she asked me whats that kiss for? I don’t know what to say. Im starting to feel guilty.

I decided to meet her just last night. She agreed to meet me at 11:30 evening. Unfortunately, i had another business to finish before proceeding to her place. I txtd her I cant come on time. She said she’ll wait. After an hour I left my friends heading to their house with my buddy. We arrived at two thirty and we saw her standing in front of their house. She told me shes been waiting for me for so long. Shes very excited to see me. Honestly, I am excited too to see her once again. Shes different that night. I don’t know why. She looks so beautiful in my eyes.
For almost an hour, we talked. She told me about many things. I cant help but to stare at her. But on our surprise her parents got awake and she hurriedly came into their house. I understood why she act like that so I texted her were leaving. She replied that we gotta be hurry coz her parents will kill her. So we went home.

On this day while im writing this article, she txted me that she cant go outside her room coz shes afraid her parents will beat her again. Im so sad to know that. She should blame me to what happened to her. She told me her parents use to beat her whenever she make mistakes. I was really touched and i feel so bad for her. I wish I can teleport through their house to back her up, tell her everything is gonna be fine. Im really so emotional this time coz I can do nothing to comfort her. Shes not beside me, I don’t know what shes doing right now at her room. Im bothered coz I think she haven’t eaten yet. She might be starving right now. What else....? I care for her…I really do...forget about everything I said on the first part. I completely fell for her.

Shes nice. I told her shes not special, shes beyond special. Why? Coz I never did such thing in my entire life on a girl. And all those time that im not seeing her Im in  blue…bluer than blue. (yes thats a song)
Once we meet again, I will sing the song I sang to her last rtu pageant event....I wanna grow old with her.

*Update (2017)

After solid 9 years of separation...we're still separated. haha..
She and I ended up to be lovers for several months but split up due to many reasons. She's the very first girl that I shed heavy tears on in my 21 years of existence (during 2008). She didn't know how much I wanted to sustain our relationship or how much I wanted to prolonge it. But things got really terrible between us that we cannot reconcile anymore. I still get to see her in the campus, hanging out with friends or alone. On few occasions, I tried to look into her eyes and guess how is she doing and I can see sadness and misery that she cannot hide. But shes a strong woman, she loves freedom and she always know what she wants. In no time, I heard she got another boyfriend, someone who's too far from my character, someone who could fit in on her demands and terms. I endured the pain of not having her back. I began to feel how I missed her, how much I wanted to talk to her and tell her how much I love her.

I stayed to feel alone in the coming months. I had a chance to pick someone to replace her but no one could replace the girl whom I fell in love with for unknown reasons. You read it right, I couldnt even tell why I loved her. She's messy looking girl, loved to party (which I hate) and her loyalty is always doubtful (like myself though). I started to put blame on my friends who diligently convinced me to stay away from her. But theres no one to blame but myself for being a coward, for letting myself beaten by tremendous pride.

I ended up with another relationship for almost a year of trying to forget her. The girl I met was almost identical to her in terms of character. At first I thought it was just a coincidence even for a fact that they have the same birth date. Though this one is younger than her, was 17 that time. I made myself believe that this is a whole new love only to find out that it was still her that I like to be with. I realized my real agenda which is to find her clone or create her clone to have a relationship with and have a brand new start. Wrong! I tasted another failure. The only difference is, I let go of "Anjelique's clone" smoothly with a couple buckets of beer and no tears at all.

4 years after our separation, I finally found someone. This is the second time that my heart beats again. I completely forgotten Anjelique at this moment. I'm not gonna put detail on this one as it also didnt turn out to be the best.

On this day, my 30th birthday, Anjelique sent me a message. What a surprise? With all honesty, this event tickles me and made my heart beat abnormally. All our memories suddenly popped up into my mind clearly and vividly. She changed a lot now specially physically. She's less adorable now compare to 2008 though I still find her sexy. And hey, her charm, her cute way of conversing, still hasn't changed. Plus she has more sense now than before. It's strange and kinda funny to get in touch again with a person who made me write my very first blog in this site circa 2008. Shes the sole reason I created this blog site which I didnt expect to still exist up to date with tons of posts already. The funnier thing is, we have our names at the url which I've put while I was deeply, madly in love with her and it looks like its the only thing that can say "there is forever". I tried to change the site address way, way back but my readers couldnt find this site anymore and so I retained the Years come and passed and I kept creating new posts ignoring this url and I never thought it will turn out to be an epic url with a cheesy story behind. It's very ironic that the two names in this site's address only had each other for a very short period of time in real life but they are going to be inseparable in the vast world wide web as long as internet exist.