The Letter

I was so blue, that day. My chances to see my one and only true love has vanished.
Way back 2002, i got inloved to this really pretty girl, in the name of... oh i rather not to mention. 
She's nice inside and out, i mean aside from her looks, she's also friendly and nice to be with.
I was barely 15 that time (young and innocent for the typical teenager, but not in my case) when i first saw her and got obsessed to her. We're living in a barrio that time where means of transportation is so hard that you can only get it once every 4 hours at daytime. Despite of that, i still patiently wait for that jumbo-jeep to arrive cause i might catch her there with her auntie. I was not able to visit her that often because their house was kilometers away from us. So everytime i see her inside that crowded jeepney, my heart jumps and...nothing more basta it jumps.


Anyway, to make this short story shorter, we became lovers illegally. Yes, everyone was terribly against us especially her uncle. So we kept it hidden and secret to her family. But because no secret can be a secret forever, her uncle surprised us one day while we're very sweet under that mango tree that still standing up to now. We're both in red that time and we're hot, i mean the color red is hot, not us actually. So because of that incident, she was grounded and warned not to meet me again. Because cellphone was not yet applicable to our place that time coz we dont have a cellsites yet in our province, we managed to keep our communication through love letters. So there's this one day that she did not respond to my letter and i sent another one and still she has no reply. I asked her bestfriend what happened why she stopped sending me letters. Her bestfriend told me that her uncle found and read all my sent letters and she was indeed grounded. Being a very resourceful person and a man full of spirit, i did not quit on her that easy and tried to seek some expert's advices. Unfortunately, after i searched the whole town for someone who can give me a hundred percent reliable "diskarte" on how can i send her my message (in fact the way for us to meet each other for the last time) i didn't get any positive advices. So i just decided to go home and have some rest and maybe just learn to forget her and live a peaceful life.




That afternoon, i was on my way home when i got surprised when someone bumped me from behind and i saw a familiar face, si "kapitbahay" who use to drink all day long and seems to be fully bored in his life. I just ignore him at first but he told me something that suddenly gave sparks to my mind. He spoke "Nung kaedad mo ko, nainlab ako sa isang babae. Pero tutol lahat samin. E mahal na mahal ko, kaya plinano kong itanan. E bantay sarado,  ginawa ko pinadalhan ko sulat. Pero di basta sulat pare. Malupet na sulat na kahit erpat nya hindi maiintindihan." On my curiosity, i asked him what kind of letter is that. That couldnt be in hieroglyphics style coz no one would really understand that. He pause for a while and seems to be recalling something and in a glimpse of a careless light, he fell off the ground, he's really drunk that time he cant even say a word. So i took him in their house and perhaps wait for him to get back to normal. That was already 7 in the evening and he's still asleep. I decided to go home and about to leave when his wife invited me for a dinner. I was already hungry then so i just nodded and grab some plate. While having dinner with his wife, i asked the martyr woman how can she manage to live with this kind of man. Before she replied, she told me a story first about how they end up to be a couple. "Tinanan nya kasi ako. E mahal ko kasi yan nun e. Pero kung di ako nainlab sa mga diskarte nyan di naman ako sasama dyan. Padalhan ba naman ako nyan ng sulat na ang bilin lang dun sa nagdala ay "basahin ko daw lahat pero wag kong pansinin yung ibang nakasulat". E di nagtaka ako kasi me maliliit na numbers sa bawat pangungusap..." she said. I laughed for a while after she told several funny stories and how she regret on having a marriage with this man. then i asked her if that letter is still on her possession and on my surprise, she's still keeping it and in fact showed me how it looks like. I thanked her and i left right away.


At home, 3 hours ago when i started to point my pen on the paper, still the paper is clean and blank. After 5 hours, at last i finished my own version of that tricky letter and it goes like this:


 To you,


1. Ang pagmamahal ko sayo'y
2. nawala na at ang di ko pagkagusto sayo ay
3. lalong lumalaki habang tumatagal. Pag nakikita kita
4. halos ayaw kitang tingnan.
5. Parang ang gusto ko gawin agad ay
6. tumingin sa ibang seksi at magandang babae. Hinding hindi ko papangarapin na
7. pakasalan ka. Syanga pala, gusto ko malaman mo na
8. sawang sawa na ako sayo at kung iniisip mo na
9. gustong-gusto kita makita,
10. nagkakamali ka. Napakasama mo. Siguro
11. kung maging tayo habang buhay, tinitiyak ko na
12. mahihirapan ako ng husto sayo at di totoo ang sinabi ko dati na
13. magiging maligaya ako sa piling mo. Ang puso kong ito'y
14. nakalaan na sa iba at wag ka nang umasa na ito'y
15. nakalaan pa rin sa'yo.Alam kong
16. ayaw mo na rin sakin pagkabasa mo nito at ang
17. gustong gusto mong
18. gawin ay isumpa ako. Di mo na gugustuhing
19. ako'y makita, alam ko din yun.
20. Di mo kelangang hilingin pero lilimutin na kita. At kung sa kabilang buhay, magkasalubong at
21. magkita tayo,
22. kahit sulyap sayo ay di ko gagawin. Naalala mo pa ba? Nung tayo ay nasa
23. sa tabi ng dagat.
24. Bigla ka nung nagwalk out at iniwan ako. Ang sakit nun. Kala ko di ka tuluyang aalis kaya sabi ko
25. hihintayin kita hanggang bukas
26. pero di ka na bumalik. Sana maging masaya ka sa buhay mo. Mula ngayon wala nang magsasabi sayo ng
27. "mahal na mahal kita"
28. tapos na tayo, paalam.


I really dont want anybody to know about this thing so i wrote it this way. I asked for my bestfriend's help to hand the letter and give to my dear but i instructed him to tell her to "read between the lines". I did not specify to instruct her to read only phrases in odd numbers (1,3,5,7,8,9,11,13,15,17,19,21,23,25,27) because i want to know if she's still interested. If she's still interested, she will read it over and over again until she finally understand (in fact, this is indeed a great letter that contain great words). But if she's really afraid to get caught by her uncle and auntie, she won't be bother reading it or even take a risk to meet me or even to write back.


My bestfriend was able to give her my letter and so i rushed to the seashore that afternoon and stayed to my other friend's hut nearby the shore. She didnt show up. I decided to sleep over and wait till morning but until noon the day after, she did not come. I went home with tears in my eyes. From that day on, i did not see her again. Her friends told me that right after that recognition day, she went off to somewhere to continue her studies there.


The year was 2007 when i found her in friendster. I was so excited that time so i sent her a message but i did not expect much because she might be still upset and hated me because of that letter that i sent her 5 years ago. On my surprise, she replied and she told me that she's so excited to meet me. Without anyone to stop us to meet once again, we got reunited after 5 years. I learned that she had a hard time understanding the letter and she had it understood late in the evening that time but unfortunately there occurred an emergency and she have to leave the barrio so she packed her things up and left the next morning. 


She's still keeping the letter and when her sister accidentally read it, she wondered and asked her  "how come you still keeping this letter?". A smile from her made her sister extremely puzzled.                                                                                                                                      
                                

Inspirational Love Story: A Teacher's Lesson

There is a story many years ago of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same.

But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners. He is a joy to be around."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag.

Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer - the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.

The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

anjelique

She’s a girl i always meet everyday in RTU Pasig. She’s kinda chubby or chubby indeed. First time I saw her was in supreme student council. That was around june 2008, opening of the class. She’s with her new classmates when they approach us because one of them knew my friend. I was not in the good mood that time and my world is at its darkest hour. I saw this fatty chick maybe around 17 or 18 years of age. She caught my attention…yeah she did. When I started staring at her, my world began to light up as if the sun finally comes out and shines on my almost lost world.

I told my tropa "I like her". My best friend told me about my absurdity because I am being attracted to another flaccid again. Yes, maybe he’s right. My ex girlfriend and the one who hurt me most was also chubby. But what’s the connection? Not all chubby is cruel. Infact, shes beautiful but still I was intoxicated by my friend’s words.

The days passed and I decided to stop whatever potential feelings I might have for her. But there still sometime I got stuck on her. I don’t know (she didn’t know either). Like one time when I was encouraging members of youth humanist, I ask them who wants to join and she raise her hands right away. I’m impressed because she got interested in our club.

A week passed and I rarely see her in the campus. Maybe because I was too busy on my academics and I have no time to roam around (seriously :P). Until, around August when I saw her with her face painted all over. I learned they've just presented their cultural dance or something for the contest of Buwan ng Wika. I was preparing to perform then for the battle of the band. I heard shes murmuring words like "he keeps ignoring me". We’ll shes right and on that instance, I was really focused on our band’s performance.

Time flies and she's almost gone in my consciousness. But I noticed it is because im preventing myself to see her. The problem is we’re on the same little campus and we can still see each other even from both ends. Anyway, as a person trying to be nice, I treat her nice. When she smile at me I smile back to her. As if we're making commercial ad for close up toothpaste.

It was a month of September when our organization president forced me to join the search for Mr. RTU pageant. I was really nervous. Pageant is not my thing. During the elimination, I was astonished to this girl wearing white gown. Yes, shes fat and shes the girl I've been talking about in this story. I felt off to look at her, so I managed not to. Her presence is both irritating and discomforting I thought.

A month after and came a coronation of Mr Rtu. She didn’t pass the elimination so no chance for us to be partners. Before the program started we’re on our quarter and she keep on teasing me. I'm not sure if shes telling the truth about what she said that im sexy and handsome(what do you think?) but I was forced to believe.

During the talent portion, I was a little shaky coz the crowd is so noisy when I came on stage. I have to get a girl from the audience to serenade to showcase my talent. She came to me and stand beside me and I start strumming and singing a song to her. The crowd got crazy. They're asking me to kiss her. I thought she wanted a kiss but I decided not to, a hug will do.

The pageant was over yet and everybody were outside. They keep talking about what happened. I only got the second runner up but that’s ok. Shes with her peers when were about to go. She told me about the kiss thing. So I told her if I can kiss her at that moment. She said just on the cheek. I ask for her lips. She nodded. I kissed her. Then I left.

A week passed and im still astounded to what ive done including the kissing thing. I don’t know why I did that. Shes been texting me and one night she asked me whats that kiss for? I don’t know what to say. Im starting to feel guilty.

I decided to meet her just last night. She agreed to meet me at 11:30 evening. Unfortunately, i had another business to finish before proceeding to her place. I txtd her I cant come on time. She said she’ll wait. After an hour I left my friends heading to their house with my buddy. We arrived at two thirty and we saw her standing in front of their house. She told me shes been waiting for me for so long. Shes very excited to see me. Honestly, I am excited too to see her once again. Shes different that night. I don’t know why. She looks so beautiful in my eyes.

For almost an hour, we talked. She told me about many things. I cant help but to stare at her. But on our surprise her parents got awake and she hurriedly came into their house. I understood why she act like that so I texted her were leaving. She replied that we gotta be hurry coz her parents will kill her. So we went home.

On this day while im writing this article, she txted me that she cant go outside her room coz shes afraid her parents will beat her again. Im so sad to know that. She should blame me to what happened to her. She told me her parents use to beat her whenever she make mistakes. I was really touched and i feel so bad for her. I wish I can teleport through their house to back her up, tell her everything is gonna be fine. Im really so emotional this time coz I can do nothing to comfort her. Shes not beside me, I don’t know what shes doing right now at her room. Im bothered coz I think she haven’t eaten yet. She might be starving right now. What else....? I care for her…I really do...forget about everything I said on the first part. I completely fell for her.

Shes nice. I told her shes not special, shes beyond special. Why? Coz I never did such thing in my entire life on a girl. And all those time that im not seeing her Im in  blue…bluer than blue. (yes thats a song)

Once we meet again, I will sing the song I sang to her last rtu pageant event....I wanna grow old with her.

*Update (2017)

After solid 9 years of separation...we're still separated. haha..
She and I ended up to be lovers for several months but split up due to many reasons. She's the very first girl that I shed heavy tears on in my 21 years of existence (during 2008). She didn't know how much I wanted to sustain our relationship or how much I wanted to prolonge it. But things got really terrible between us that we cannot reconcile anymore. I still get to see her in the campus, hanging out with friends or alone. On few occasions, I tried to look into her eyes and guess how is she doing and I can see sadness and misery that she cannot hide. But shes a strong woman, she loves freedom and she always know what she wants. In no time, I heard she got another boyfriend, someone who's too far from my character, someone who could fit in on her demands and terms. I endured the pain of not having her back. I began to feel how I missed her, how much I wanted to talk to her and tell her how much I love her.

I stayed to feel alone in the coming months. I had a chance to pick someone to replace her but no one could replace the girl whom I fell in love with for unknown reasons. You read it right, I couldnt even tell why I loved her. She's messy looking girl, loved to party (which I hate) and her loyalty is always doubtful (like myself though). I started to put blame on my friends who diligently convinced me to stay away from her. But theres no one to blame but myself for being a coward, for letting myself beaten by tremendous pride.

I ended up with another relationship for almost a year of trying to forget her. The girl I met was almost identical to her in terms of character. At first I thought it was just a coincidence even for a fact that they have the same birth date. Though this one is younger than her, was 17 that time. I made myself believe that this is a whole new love only to find out that it was still her that I like to be with. I realized my real agenda which is to find her clone or create her clone to have a relationship with and have a brand new start. Wrong! I tasted another failure. The only difference is, I let go of "Anjelique's clone" smoothly with a couple buckets of beer and no tears at all.

4 years after our separation, I finally found someone. This is the second time that my heart beats again. I completely forgotten Anjelique at this moment. I'm not gonna put detail on this one as it also didnt turn out to be the best.

On this day, my 30th birthday, Anjelique sent me a message. What a surprise? With all honesty, this event tickles me and made my heart beat abnormally. All our memories suddenly popped up into my mind clearly and vividly. She changed a lot now specially physically. She's less adorable now compare to 2008 though I still find her sexy. And hey, her charm, her cute way of conversing, still hasn't changed. Plus she has more sense now than before. It's strange and kinda funny to get in touch again with a person who made me write my very first blog in this site circa 2008. Shes the sole reason I created this blog site which I didnt expect to still exist up to date with tons of posts already. The funnier thing is, we have our names at the url which I've put while I was deeply, madly in love with her and it looks like its the only thing that can say "there is forever". I tried to change the site address way, way back but my readers couldnt find this site anymore and so I retained the http://reyner-anjelique.blogspot.com.au/. Years come and passed and I kept creating new posts ignoring this url and I never thought it will turn out to be an epic url with a cheesy story behind. It's very ironic that the two names in this site's address only had each other for a very short period of time in real life but they are going to be inseparable in the vast world wide web as long as internet exist.